Devil Spawn

Ice Skating in Hell

by Priest Nate Leved - First Church of Satan

Unraveling all of the facets and the various extended belief systems of Satanism is very much akin to Ice Skating in Hell. There are more than likely a gazillion minor differences in Satanic thought and practice, so no one could hope to cover them all, if for no other reason than new ones are added daily. Satanism is a fast- growing religion. What is of great importance to one is of negligible import to another. To many, their way is the only way, and anyone or anything who differs one iota from their dogma, is immediately thrown into the trash. So, I guess that I'm a goner. Mostly, I didn't even dare write, as they made me as nervous as a whore in church. Apparently, there are as many Satanic sects as there are those sported by modern Christianity. Whatever, but I enjoyed reading their writings and suggest that you do to... Then you can make your own decisions.

The biggest bones of contention appear to be that some sects believe that their soul continues on after death (Pharisees), while others live for the day and believe that they wink out at the moment of death (Saddusees). Then, of course, some believe that Satan (by one name or the other) is a real-live, beating entity, while their counterparts consider Him to be only a set of principles or sort of a roll model. Others claim that He doesn't exist at all. Oh well...

Then there are those individuals and groups who use Satan as an excuse to practice debauchery and excess or to bring about fear responses in the everyday people whom they intrude upon. These people seek attention and identity just like any other role-players, and they are notorious for their proclivity toward using any ploy no matter how unlikely to draw a shocking response and gain an advantage over the simple-minded and superstitious. There is little they won't do in the name of Satan, and one would think that they were out to give the Dark Lord a bad rap. Actually, they are only shoring up their own weaknesses by using excuses and scare tactics to fill the void of their own inadequacy.

Will The Real Satanist
Please Stand UP?

Then, there are people who take the intellectual tack, but are very often only atheists looking to put some punch in their arguments. By donning the guise of an intellectual Satanist, they can further build their arguments for atheism. Several of these articles are available on the web and also in print. However, they have little to do with Satan or the concept of His persona and supposed mission. They are the flip side of the Christian movement who darn near bases the tenets of their faith squarely upon Satan. Let's see, Jehovah was too much trouble, with all of the sacrifices and such, and separating the women from the men in church was causing too much trouble, so they retired Him and offered up Jesus Christ of Nazareth in His stead. This greatly pleased the women and brought the priests a nice chunk of change, but they needed an arch enemy to hold at bay so that their fair-haired boy could be a hero to the masses.

The Great Snafu

Well, Satan was and is the perfect antagonist (arch villain) for their purpose. The whole Xtian pageant is somewhat like a long- running soap opera when you look at it logically. Here, you have a bunch of people who have, for reasons of their own, assented to follow a set of highly dubious mystical beliefs and have agreed to adhere to a set of perfectly ludicrous and impossible laws and dictates which they have little chance of successfully fulfilling. They are doomed to failure, and they know it. They really need Satan, perhaps, more than any Satanist. Thanks to Him, they can blame their weaknesses and lack of discipline upon Satan by saying that, "The Devil made me do it!" The next scene shows their preacher wrestling with the demons during the Sunday services, complete with people falling back, unconscious. It's great showmanship, and everyone feels better-- until the next time. One thing about the darkness-- it's here to stay. When the candle burns out, what do you have?

So, modern day Xtianity holds forth it's major characters in order of importance: Jesus, Satan, Jehovah, Mary, various apostles and the guys who take the offerings at the meetings. Think about it! The average Sunday morning homily is little more than another day in the life, where their side supposedly wins out over ours. However, In their dogma, Satan's job is to trip up and bring the mighty to their knees, and He is believed to do it well. Yes, according to the Xtians, Satan is an equal opportunity adversary, as He is blamed for bringing kings, emperors, presidents, priests, pastors, evangelists and the Body of Christ to their knees without discrimination. They all say that the Devil made them do it...

However, we have it on good authority that Satan has little need to waste His time, fooling and tinkering with the lives and plans of Xtians, as do to their very natures, they bring their failures down on themselves quite nicely without any assistance form old Slew foot.

Actually, Satan or Lucifer if you prefer, burned very bright and enjoyed bringing illumination wherever He went. That's why they called Him the Angel of Light or the Bright Star of the Morning. Hell, Lucifer never thought that shedding a little light on the subject was a bad thing, but when He did it, it showed up the general incompetence and stupidity of those who thought that they were infallible, impeccable and could do no wrong. Well, Lucifer (Satan) got by with this illuminating act for a time, but when He shed too much light on Jehovah, it simply illuminated the fact that Jehovah was a demented, genocidal maniac who would like nothing better to kill off His own people just to vent His own childish temper-- talk about road rage!

Idols

Anyway, Moses had a hell of a time talking Jehovah out of destroying the Israelites when He found them making a golden idol at the base of the mountain. But what did He expect? They always made golden idols. Of course, it angered Moses too, as He threw down His two stone tablets (The Ten Commandments) and busted them on the ground. Now, that was smart... Later, Lucifer showed up Jehovah as being pretty vindictive too, as when He was hunting around trying to think up things to put in the arc, He wanted the priests to put in the broken tablets as a reminder to the Israelites that He was going to waltz through the wilderness until the current generation died out. Now, isn't that stupid? If they were going to die off anyway, why remind them of anything? What the hell, blame that on Satan too. So, why didn't Jehovah walk Lucifer through the wilderness? Obviously, He didn't want the ass kicking.

You can see what I mean, Satan is one of the greatest, but most maligned personages in recorded history, and trying to make any sense out of the tripe that has been handed down to us by those who would use Him for their own advantage is like trying to go Ice Skating in Hell...

Let us reconsider. What if Lucifer or Satan, if you will, finally got fed up with the whole silly routine (Atlas Shrugged) and went off about His own business, leaving Jehovah and the rest of the crazies to screw up their own lives and most everything else they touch? And then, what if one day it was revealed that Satan didn't have anything at all to do with all the death and destruction and screw ups of the human race? Hell, the Xtian Crusaders and Inquisitors, not counting the Bosnians and Serbs or the Irish Protestants and Catholics, caused more death and destruction and brought forward more hate and discontent than was ever attributed to Satan. You know, among the sorriest tales I ever read was the destruction of the Cathars and the Knights Templars by the Holy Church. Read about the Crusaders and the Mamelukes too while you are at it.

You can look up a good accounting of those in most any good library-- if they haven't rewritten that history too. The Man, Myth and Magic Encyclopedia has an excellent series of articles on all these and like subjects. Oh yes, be sure and check out the gruesome saga of Torquemada and the Spanish Inquisition too. God loves you! But, just imagine having your toes roasted for consorting with Satan when all you wanted to do was get laid on May Day... If I were the Xtian God (whichever one), I'd be ashamed to show my face on this planet. Satan, indeed!

leved@impulsedata.net
copyright 1998, all rights reserved.
"May the Dark Sun light your journey."

Visit Nate's website; Satan's Playground! http://www.impulsedata.net/~leved/